


Seductively Straight

by ActiveAggression



Category: Bandom, My Chemical Romance
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Homophobic Language, M/M, Mikey being cool as a cucumber, Prank War, Swearing, sort of crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-07
Updated: 2017-07-09
Packaged: 2018-11-10 04:51:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,120
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11120277
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ActiveAggression/pseuds/ActiveAggression
Summary: Frank has no idea Mikey even has a brother until he breaks into his basement."Frank tries to take this in, because it sounds like Mikey and this blob of shadow are brothers and Frank has never heard Mikey say the word ‘brother’ in his entire life."





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I know, I know. What am I doing? What am I doing with this ship that should've went away years ago? Well i'm not giving a fuck. That's what I'm doing. Because I don't care. 
> 
> Please enjoy this. It's a little silly, but it was fun as shit to write. I've been having a fair amount of writer's block and this was just easy and nice to do.

It’s all Mikey’s fault really. He’d been the one to start this, with what Frank had come to call the ‘wrapping paper fiasco’. Like fuck was Frank gonna let Mikey get away with it, and so… he retaliated.

Mikey didn’t seem to appreciate the effort he’d gone to - the fake ID he’d had to acquire and the waiting for the school to finally empty and the hours after that trying to work out Mikey’s goddamn combination for his locker (6969 as it turned out) - when he opened his locker the next morning and ten dildos came raining out.

Mikey, being Mikey, had simply raised an eyebrow at them and shrugged it off like he thought lockers normally sprouted dildos overnight.

His complete indifference to the prank was proven wrong a week later though when Frank opened the door to his room - his room goddamn it! - and found the same dildos (suspiciously less one) hanging from his fucking roof. His mother had been right behind him because of course she had, and gave him a very embarrassing, hour long talk on gay sex and what was considered appropriate in their household - that is, Frank being gay was fine but hanging dildos from his ceiling was not. Surprise surprise.

Frank found it no less than heinously unfair that his mother had more of a reaction to the dildos than their entire school had. The problem bullies have with Mikey is that he’s inherently unbullyable. He never reacts to things - not even being punched in the face - and simply does not care. You can’t bully someone that doesn’t care.

When Frank got to school the day after the ‘floating dildo incident’, he’d been beyond pissed. He was shaking and just about ready to punch Mikey in his stupidly attractive face. Mikey had derailed that plan by being 1: too tall, and 2: actually kind of sympathetic and sorry. He hadn’t said the words, but Frank could sort of tell.

It didn’t stop him from sneaking into the locker room during Mikey’s gym class - and his own English class for that matter - and cutting Mikey’s shirt into a crop top.

He’d been proud of it too, sure he would get some kind of reaction. Instead when he met Mikey on the way to lunch, the other boy was bearing his flat, pale stomach in the top like it didn’t even matter and even had the nerve to politely ask what Frank had brought with him for lunch. Frank had glared at him but was sure he would at least bow to being embarrassed when they got to the lunch table.

He had, of course, completely forgotten that their friends are fucking weird.

“Sweet top,” Brendon had crowed enthusiastically, eyes wide and bright like the fucking child that he is. Pete had gone suspiciously quiet on the approach and when Mikey posed to show off his ‘hip new fashion’ to the table, he choked on his sandwich and stared resolutely at his lap for the rest of lunch. Patrick had been sick again, and Ray, true to form, had accepted it instantly and started talking about dragons.

Mikey got him back a week later by - fucking somehow - swapping out all of his underwear with lace thongs. Frank had worn no underwear to school that day - feeling very exposed but very much like he’d prefer it to the discomfort of a thong.

Frank will admit he didn’t think it through very well when he stuffed Mikey’s bag full of the fucking things and inadvertently made him king of the jocks for a fortnight. Though, if there’s anything that did seem to bother the boy-noodle it was the horde of fuckboys trying to ask him ‘how he did it’. They stopped asking when Mikey quietly admitted to a group of them that ‘actually they belong to Frank’.

This somehow got Frank bullied more than Mikey.

 

‘And so,’ Frank thinks, sneaking through the Way’s backyard, “Mikey totally deserves this.”

His plan is simple; sneak into Mikey’s house through the basement (that Frank has never been into but knows is his best bet anyway), replace Mikey’s shampoo with Nair and laugh at him uproariously when he comes to school bald. He had toyed with the idea of putting hair dye in Mikey’s shampoo but there’s too much of a risk that Mikey will simply rock it.

Frank knows the house is empty because Mikey’s been complaining for days about his parent’s being away in France and he knows Mikey won't be there because Frank had begged Pete to force Mikey into a sleepover at Ray’s. The three of them are probably having loads of fun, loads of fun away from here.

 Frank still tiptoes over to the window into the basement - it’s always covered, but it’s also always open just a crack. A normal person would have difficulty fitting through it, but Frank stopped growing when he was ten and knows he’ll fit fine.

He has no idea what’s below the window though. He’s never actually been into the basement and it could be power tools or sharks or something. Carefully he pulls the window further open, slips his head through the gap and shines a torch down the curtain onto the floor below. He catches a glimpse of some sheets. So there’s probably a bed under the window - guest bed he supposes - which is actually pretty lucky. He doesn’t have to be so careful jumping in.

This turns out to be good as he loses his footing halfway through the jumping process and tumbles onto the bed below - which would be great, if the bed didn’t shriek and detach a humanoid form from its shadows. Damn it. He knew he shouldn’t have trusted Pete with such a big responsibility.

“Mikey?” the shape asks, voice all mumbly. Frank freezes then, realising he’s half on top of this person and _this person isn’t Mikey!_ “Why are you sneaking in?” the shape continues, “mum and dad aren’t home.”

Frank tries to take this in, because ‘mum and dad’ makes it sound like Mikey and this blob of shadow are _brothers_ and Frank has never heard Mikey say the word ‘brother’ in his entire life.

 He’s not sure how to respond, still lost in the idea of brothers, when the shape says, “Mikey?” again but now unsurely and the bedside lamp flicks on.

The shadow shows itself to be an insanely attractive guy, probably around 20, with vibrant red hair and a mouth made for kissing. Frank swallows. He’s sitting on what is possibly the man of his dreams and said man looks terrified.

“Who the fuck are you?” he asks, which is something Frank would like to ask right back alongside ‘can I have your number?’ and ‘do you come here often?’

“Uh… Frank,” he offers instead. The guy still looks terrified, which is probably just because Frank is still on top of him and he has yet to work out Frank’s height. “I’m Mikey’s friend?”

The guy eyes him uncertainly, “if you’re Mikey’s friend, why are you dressed like a burglar?”

Frank finds this assessment unfair. He hadn’t been aiming for burglar at all. He’d been aiming for super stealth hitman. He’s wearing his black long sleeved thermal and some borrowed black combat pants that he’s not really certain why Patrick even owns.

“I’m not.”

“You totally are.”

 “Well i’m not a burglar,” Frank argues, because it seems like it’s important to get that in there.

“Then why did you break in through my window?” the guy asks in this pointed tone that Frank quickly decides he doesn’t like. 

“Because i’m pranking Mikey.” Honestly is the best policy.

Mikey’s supposed brother eyes him in a way that probably isn’t meant to turn him on, but is doing the trick anyway. “Sweet. I’m in,” he finally declares, eyes glinting deviously in the deep light.

Frank is sure he should feel surprised, but instead he feels excited. A partner in crime is definitely something he can be okay with... a hot partner in crime is even better.

“Awesome."

Gracefully, he tumbles out of the bed - foot getting lodged in the sheet and refusing to come free. “Who are you by the way?” he asks, sitting on the floor and trying to untangle the mess of sheets he tore from the bed on his way down.

“Shouldn’t you know that?” the guy asks, clambering out of bed far more successfully than Frank managed. His mouth twitches as he watches Frank tug at the knot around his boot.

“Are you Mikey’s brother?” Frank asks, because he thinks he probably is, but also thinks Mikey would’ve _told him._

“Yeah, Gerard.” And oh, that rings a bell. Frank thinks he remembers that name from when he went through Mikey’s contacts and renamed them all. Or at least he remembers a G- something. He doesn’t remember what he renamed it to, but nothing can beat Pete’s one anyway which he’d simply changed to ‘crush <3,’ and laughed until he couldn’t breathe when Mikey knew who it was right away.

“He’s never mentioned a brother,” Frank justifies, pulling the last of the cotton away from his shoe with a flourish.

Gerard laughs - it’s cute as shit and Frank forgets to breathe. “Of course he didn’t. He’s probably waiting to spring it on you.”

“Well it certainly was a surprise,” Frank grins. The basement is bigger than he assumed it would be - but that’s because he thought it was a fucking closet or something, not an entire bedroom. There’s a droopy couch hesitantly existing against the wall farthest from the window and what looks like a pretty sweet game console setup. Mikey’s been holding out on him.

“What’s the prank?” Gerard asks as they climb the stairs.

“I’m putting Nair in his shampoo,” Frank mutters, because it’s possible Mikey’s brother won't approve of bald Mikey.

“Jesus,” Gerard breathes, “what the fuck did he do to you?”

 “Well,” Frank starts, taking in a long deep breath, “it all started with the wrapping paper fiasco.”

“What?” Gerard asks, laughing. They’ve made it to the kitchen now and don’t seem to be moving on just yet, or at least Gerard doesn’t seem to want to. He’s pulled open the fridge and gotten himself out an unidentifiable can. Frank thinks it might be an energy drink, but it could just as easily be beer. Gerard shoots him this look which is almost purely eyebrow expression and is clearly asking if he wants one. Frank nods; energy drink or beer, he doesn’t care.

 Gerard throws him one and opens his own. Frank does the same and takes a long sip. Beer it is.

“So, at the start of the year your asshole of a brother - I shit you not - stuffed me in a cardboard box, wrapped it up like a present and dropped me on the doorstep of our perverted English teacher.”

“Mr Tethers?” Gerard asks which - which… does he go to their school? Frank doesn’t remember seeing him around.

“Yeah.”

“Wow, that’s cold. I remember he used to take photos of the girls in class.”

“Still does,” Frank agrees. So Gerard used to go to their school, but doesn’t anymore?

“Gross.”

“Yeah.”

Gerard pauses, “so why are you getting him back now?”

“I uh- i’m not. This is getting him back for telling the jocks that the thongs I put in his bag were mine. It’s kind of become a prank war.”  

Gerard blinks at him. “You put thongs in his bag?”

“Yeah.”

“Doesn’t that mean they are yours.”

Frank glares at him, “no it doesn’t. Mikey was the one to sneak them into my room in the first place. He threw out all my other underwear too!”  

Gerard laughs at this - still cute as shit - and shrugs, “I think the hair loss is warranted then.”

“Definitely.”

 

For some dumbass reason, they sneak up the stairs - laughing hysterically every other whispered word and almost falling over with the weird poses they try to keep. Gerard only just manages to catch him when Frank trips on the top stair and almost tumbles all the way back down. His heart races in his chest and he can’t stop grinning.

“My saviour,” he murmurs and thinks he sees Gerard flush in the dark.  

Besides Gerard being hot and apparently awesome as fuck, Frank finds himself glad to have him simply because Frank’s pretty sure he would’ve got lost otherwise. The house is kind of big and the bathroom is between two closets. Frank does manage to open one before Gerard shuts it and moves him to the right door.

He’s even more glad Gerard exists when he flicks on the bathroom light and figures out he has no idea which shampoo is Mikey’s. Even still it takes Gerard ten minutes of deliberation before he decides that the ‘Herbal Essences Seductively Straight’ is the right one. This revelation almost kills Frank because he can’t breathe and laugh at the same time, and - oh god - he can’t stop laughing.

“Seductively straight?” he gasps out in between harsh shaking laughs. This seems to get Gerard who had managed to be somewhat straight-faced to that point. He falls into the tub beside Frank with a thump and a giggle.He’s not entirely sure how they even got into the bathtub in the first place. When it had just been him having a breakdown it was okay though and now, with Gerard giggling beside him it’s a little bit tight.

He finds it even harder to breathe, which makes him laugh even more and makes Gerard laugh harder and it’s only five minutes afterwards that it actually occurs to him that _they’re in the bath together!_ It’s not like there’s water or nakedness or anything but he has kind of ended up _on top of Gerard!_

Frank stops laughing all at once, which is awkward but Gerard doesn’t seem to notice or care and continues. He’s got the damn shampoo still clutched in his hand, the only bright pink thing in the bath - aside from Gerard’s face of course.

Frank goes to take the bottle from him, because they’re kind of on a mission to stop Mikey from being so ‘Seductive Straight’ and instead make him bald. His bottle capturing doesn’t work out as he expected though.

The moment his fingers brush Gerard’s, the redhead stops laughing. The fingers of his free hand catch on Frank’s hip, pull Frank up until their faces are aligned, and Gerard slots their mouths together.

Frank’s fingers freeze on the shampoo bottle, his brain misfires and he can _totally_ get on board with this. He kisses back roughly, sort of distantly aware of his dick pressing deliciously against Gerard’s thigh but is thoroughly distracted by how Gerard is a fucking great kisser. His mouth is soft and damp and between toe curling open mouthed kisses, he presses little chaste ones on Frank’s chin and nose and cheeks and anywhere he can reach.

It’s kind of sweet and Frank isn’t usually turned on by sweet things but this is totally doing it for him. Never-mind that he’s making out with an almost total stranger who is Mikey’s brother. _Who is Mikey’s brother!_  

Frank jolts away so fast, his head spins a little. Gerard’s hand is still on his hip, just kind of under his shirt - when the fuck did that happen? - and so Frank doesn’t get up like he thinks he should. Instead he just sits, straddling Gerard - _straddling Mikey’s brother_ \- and taking great shuddering breaths.

Gerard shifts uncertainly below him and Frank whines as he feels something hard press against the back of his upper thigh. Gerard looks insanely hot, mouth open, slick, and eyes half lidded as he presses his hips up into Frank again. Frank groans in response.  

“What about Mikey?” he asks shakily.

Gerard shoots up at that, squeaking uneasily against the tub. His face goes from pure sex to worry in a second. “I thought you said you were friends?”

“... we are.”

 Gerard’s brow furrows, “I don’t understand.”

“What will he think about us… you know...” Frank trails off, fairly certain Gerard can work it out from there.

“Oh,” Gerard says, then his eyes flick down to Frank’s mouth and he smirks, “who the fuck cares?”

Frank can’t really argue with that, mostly because Gerard kisses him again. They make out for so long Frank’s knees start to hurt where they’re pressed into the sides of the tub and when he pulls away to express this, Gerard winces and says something about his back that Frank doesn’t really hear over his own thought babble on how hot Mikey’s brother is.  

They do make it out of the bath, sort of. Frank’s legs aren’t really awake though and he collapses on the tile to massage them back to life. Gerard stands beside him and finally seems to notice the shampoo he’s holding.

“Nair?” he asks. Frank hands it over.

 Gerard pours only a little bit in, not enough to be noticeable but hopefully enough to cause some patchiness. He puts it back where it came from, alongside other pink bottles that probably also belong to Mikey.

Frank can’t help grinning, “hey,” he calls. Gerard turns to smile back at him and kneels down to press a kiss to his nose. Frank swats him away lightly. “Wanna pretend we don’t know each other to fuck with Mikey?”  

“More than you can even imagine.”

 

 They sneak back down the stairs, for no reason whatsoever and Gerard helps him back out the window because “I think it’s a bit soon for you to sleep over Frank.” But he does give Frank his phone number and the promise of a date on Friday.

Frank’s grinning when he leaves the Way property and it’s only a little because Mikey’s shampoo is ‘Seductively Bald.’

 


	2. The Date

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah so... I wrote them a date. I may write more even. It's a miracle.

Friday finds its way into Frank’s lap almost as quickly as Gerard does. It’s not necessarily sexual, but it isn’t necessarily  _ not  _ either. 

They’d gone out… sort of. Sort of meaning Frank had picked Gerard up from two streets away from the Way household because Mikey is both annoying and horribly nosy. Gerard had seemed out of breath and cold and happy. He flashed a little grin at Frank that made him want to sink into the pavement and whispered something about Mikey being a suspicious brat and “I do actually have a life outside the basement.” 

Frank had a hard time paying attention to the words. He’d been far too busy trying to decipher what Gerard was wearing. It was a little like a sack with arm holes - no wonder he was cold - and his legs stuck out hilariously under it. It was cute… well it wasn’t but Gerard was, so Frank just smiled and nodded and wondered if Gerard always spoke that much. 

The extent of going out past that had been a short walk to Frank’s house. His mum wasn’t home and he was sure she must’ve said something to him about it but couldn’t remember it for the life of him. He’d put ‘The Day of the Triffids’ on and sat awkwardly on the couch, because he is awkward and can’t help it. Gerard had helped him overcome this by sitting down…  _ in his lap _ . 

So, not necessarily sexual but the possibility is there. Frank could easily kiss Gerard’s neck from where he is. He could reach around and give him a quick handy as well. The possibility is definitely there. But he’s just not sure if it’s welcome. 

From where he is, he’s pretty sure he could pull out all of Gerard’s hairs one by one with agonising preciseness. He wouldn’t and he’s pretty fucking sure it wouldn’t be welcome. But shit - possibility is there. 

“What’re you thinking about?” Gerard asks quietly. 

“Your hair,” Frank blurts because he is and he’s also a colossal idiot. 

“Yeah?” Gerard asks, turning his head slightly. His hair tickles Frank’s nose and he fumbles with his words.  _ The hair knows. _

“Uh,” Frank mumbles, “yeah. It’s cute and stuff…” 

Gerard seems to notice his hesitation. “Do you want me to move?” 

“Fuck no,” Frank answers, bringing his hands up from where he’d had them desperately clenched into the couch in an effort not to do anything stupid. Stupid like touch Gerard’s undoubtedly awesome hips. Which they’re doing now. Great. 

Gerard’s hips feel almost delicate under his hands and just as awesome as he’d predicted. 

“Awesome,” he whispers. 

“What?” 

“Nothing.” 

They lapse into silence, watching the pixelated people on the TV stagger around blindly. Frank quickly decides Gerard’s hips are the best hips he’s ever touched. They may be the only hips he’s ever touched but he doesn’t think touching other hips will change their standing. The one flaw of the hips is they’re encased in the weird sack shirt and it’s made of equally sack like material. The bloody thing is also a little too long for Frank to simply move out of the way. 

Gerard shifts slightly and Frank makes the not entirely surprising discovery that he’s hard. He hadn’t really noticed - too entertained by the idea of Gerard’s bones being cute, and too angry at the sack masquerading as clothing.  

He hopes Gerard doesn’t notice, then hopes desperately that Gerard does notice and they make out or something equally excellent. If Gerard does notice, he doesn’t say anything. 

Frank strokes his fingers along where hip bones would be if there wasn’t a fucking sack in the way. 

“What the fuck are you wearing?” he finally blurts. He thinks maybe he sounds irrationally angry, but he’s angry because he can’t touch Gerard’s hips and that sounds pretty rational to him. 

Gerard startles and turns to face him with wide eyes. “What?” 

“I can’t- it’s like a fucking sack. Why are you wearing a sack?” 

Gerard pauses, seemingly thrown by the comment. “I’m not?” he offers. 

“You are so,” Frank counters, pulling at the hem. “Look at this.” 

“Why are you so worked up about this?” 

Frank stumbles over his words, getting out some garbled mumbling. Finally, face red, arms crossed and Gerard still perched delicately on his thighs, he mutters, “I can’t touch your hips.” 

Gerard’s eyebrows rise. His expression is trying to be some odd mix of confused and surprised. It’s one of those things that’s cute, but only because it’s Gerard doing it. 

“I- you- I can take it off?” he offers, but he looks kind of unsure. 

“No- no. It’s fine. I just- it is totally a sack,” Frank amends, trying to steer the topic away. He is desperately horny and can see the same sort of hunger in Gerard’s expression, but the possibility of Gerard being unsure is not okay. It’s probably because this is totally moving too fast; god, they’ve known each other for _four_ days and already Frank can picture the rest of his life with the guy. 

Gerard pouts - Frank thinks for a second it’s because he thinks Frank thinks he’s not pretty or some other complete rubbish. “It’s not a sack,” Gerard mumbles, settling back against Frank’s chest, “I like it.” 

Frank wants to say he likes it too, but it’s too hideous for him to make any sort of statement remotely like that. 

“It’s cute on you,” he shrugs. Gerard seems appeased. 

When he drops Gerard home afterwards - and by home he means the fire hydrant two streets away and they walked so it isn’t as cool as it sounds - Gerard grins prettily and blushes and mumbles. 

Whatever it is he’s trying to say, Frank takes it as a sign to kiss the older boy. And so he does so. On the cheek, because he’s a gentleman. 

Gerard makes a weird sort of hooting noise and flaps his hands. Frank looks from them to Gerard’s mouth and back again. He’d seemed so much more suave when they were in the bathtub. 

Gerard takes Frank’s gentlemanly kiss in a completely opposite way to how it was intended, Frank assumes, because suddenly Gerard’s mouth is on his. It isn’t chaste or gentlemanly at all, not that Frank’s complaining, and Gerard has no issue whatsoever with pushing him against the nearest street lamp. He pulls away to lick his lips, smirk devilishly at Frank and kisses him again. 

Wherever suave bathtub Gerard went, he’s definitely back. Back and plenty ready to dry hump Frank in the middle of the street. 

Frank moans encouragingly, presses back into the heat of Gerard’s body and in general just tries to keep up. 

Gerard backs up first, partially because Frank literally cannot do so himself without phasing through solid metal and partially because Frank wouldn’t do it anyway. 

“I’ll uh- see you then?” he grins, eyes teasing. 

“Yeah,” Frank manages through great heaving breaths. He’s going to need to start carrying his inhaler again, “I’ll text you.”

Gerard’s already a couple paces away and still walking.“Make it dirty.” 

Frank chokes on his own spit. He has to walk home hard and trembling and feeling happier than he’s been in years. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ahhhh drama

It’s two weeks after the ‘Seductively bald and also Mikey has a hot brother holy shit’ prank and Frank thinks he should start to see some hair loss. Mikey’s pretty religious about washing his hair so… yeah. Nothing appears different though. Mikey’s hair is still straight and hanging over his forehead in half bleached layers. 

Frank pokes it. It’s soft too. 

Mikey turns to him, stopping mid sentence - something about the properties of light - and gives him a withering look. 

“What are you doing Frank?” he asks in this put-upon tone that Frank hates because Mikey is far more exhausting to deal with than Frank is. 

“Touching your hair,” Frank shrugs. 

Brendon looks up from his half finished sandwich and reaches over himself. “Hair,” he nods, “awesome.” With that he turns back to his sandwich. 

Mikey stares hard at Frank for a long moment, “I swear to god Iero, if you’re the reason my mum’s losing her hair…” 

“What?” Frank asks carefully, freaking out on the inside because of course Gerard got the wrong shampoo. Of course he did. 

“My mum’s losing her hair. If you did something to her shampoo that was meant for me, I’m gonna be pissed.” 

Frank shakes his head, “nah. I didn’t. Unlike you,  _ I  _ find it morally wrong to break into people’s houses,” he says, ignoring the way Pete’s eyes have gone wide. He probably remembers being the distraction. Frank kicks him under the table. 

“Fine,” Mikey says suspiciously. He goes back to boring Pete with conversation and Frank takes the opportunity to text Gerard. 

‘We got the wrong shampoo. Abort. Tip it out.’ 

‘Already did,’ Gerard texts back. Good. Hopefully that means Mikey’s mother won't end up bald and cause Frank’s untimely demise at the hands of her son. 

He looks back up, his phone halfway into his pocket when he notices how quiet it’s become.  Mikey’s staring at him again. 

 “Who are you texting Frank?” he asks. His voice is like something out of Frank’s nightmares, all soft and treacherous and horrifying. 

Frank gazes into the middle distance of the cafeteria. “What was that satan?” 

Ray bursts out laughing. Patrick, sat beside him, startles so much he almost falls from his seat. Mikey’s gaze switches to them for a split second, but it’s enough time for Frank to properly shove the rest of his phone into his front pocket.  It’s obvious Mikey is still suspicious, but Pete’s started reading something pretentious off his phone. Mikey is horrible at multitasking and even worse at ignoring Pete. With one last flesh-stripping look at Frank, he turns and joins in on the conversation. There’s a bunch of big words being thrown about that probably don’t need to be there. 

Frank isn’t really sure, but it sounds a little like Mikey is trying to thesaurus Pete into liking him. 

He texts Gerard this. It seems like the sort of thing that he’d enjoy. Frank isn’t sure what he’ll get back. Gerard has proven himself weird and unpredictable and it could be a underwater emoji scene just as much as it could be a simple ‘k’. Instead, when his phone buzzes and Frank unlocks it, a box comes up with a little loading animation. 

A photo. Probably a sketch then, or a quick picture of the floor. It loads. Frank drops his phone. 

Holy- _holy shit._  

 

He’s hard. He’s sitting in the school cafeteria between Patrick and Mikey and he’s hard. His phone sits on his lap, lighting up a small patch of his jeans. 

“Everything okay?” Patrick asks quietly, because he’s a puddle of wholesomeness. 

“Yeah, fine,” Frank nods, picking up his phone again. He shuts it off, because the cafeteria is so not the place. “I’m just- i’m gonna go. See you guys in class.” 

Patrick looks even more concerned, if possible, but Pete laughs. “Meeting some guy behind the school?” he crows. 

God, Frank wishes. 

He shrugs, shouldering his backpack and trying not to sprint out of the cafeteria. He needs to get to the bathroom, call Gerard, tell him why this is super super inappropriate and then hopefully jerk off while Gerard whispers dirty dirty things in his ear. 

 

Frank gets to the bathroom but it’s full of burnouts passing a joint around. Frank nods a hello and takes off again, this time aiming for one of the bathrooms past E block. They’re usually deserted.  He’s panting by the time he gets there, still frightfully hard and already dialling Gerard’s number as he steps in. He pushes into a cubicle, braces himself against the wall and waits for it to connect. 

“Frank?” Gerard asks, sounding fairly proud of himself. 

“You are such a tease and I’m gonna tell you off afterwards, but right now just- just- talk to me.” Frank gets his hand down his jeans desperately but it’s a tight fit and the wrong angle. Groaning in annoyance, he unzips them instead and pushes them down to his thighs with his underwear. 

“Uh- yeah okay Frankie,” Gerard’s saying. He sounds a little unsure, like he’s never done this kind of thing before. Maybe Frank would be sympathetic if he weren’t so desperately turned on. Gerard’s flailing though, mumbling through the phone. 

Frank tosses his hair out of his face, tilts his head to rest on the wall behind him because Gerard being awkward is so not helping him. He pulls the phone away from his ear, holds it out in front of himself and takes a quick picture. He’s never sent nudes before and he’s pretty sure if he looks at it he’ll freak out, so he hits send and tries to let his adrenalin convince him this is still a good idea. 

Gerard pauses for a long second and makes a kind of strangled noise through the phone. “Oh God Frankie, that- you’re so hot. So hot. I - the tattoos, are you even old enough to get tattoos?” 

“Gerard I swear-” 

“Right right, I get distracted. But the tattoos- the birds- I want to lick them.”

Frank tightens his grip, gasping. Fuck, he can totally work with that. “Yeah? Just the birds?”  

“Well everywhere,” Gerard amends, “first the birds though. I would get down on my knees-” 

Frank honestly and wholeheartedly believes his brain shuts off. 

“- and I would - God Frankie - I’d lick them and you… just all of you. Hips and lower and-” 

Frank pauses. Gerard’s still talking, saying fucking excellent things into his ear in this hushed, whispering, broken tone but Frank isn’t really listening. He’s too busy listening past that. There’s this tapping sound outside the cubicle. Not like footsteps, but like the sound of his mother’s foot when she’s waiting for him. Impatient, but definitely waiting. 

It isn’t making him any less hard, but regardless he hisses, “I’ve got to go,” into the phone and hangs up. He feels a little bad for Gerard but more bad for his dick which is likely just as confused.  He gives himself a moment to compose himself, trying to simultaneously pull up his jeans and underwear and tuck his phone away. He probably looks entirely fucked out, but knows whoever is outside is waiting for him. It’s probably a teacher or something, about to suspend him. 

Frank unlocks the cubicle, shoulders it open. He expects the principal, or creepy Mr Tethers, or by some horrific trick of fate it’ll be his mum and she’ll lecture him about jerking off in bathroom stalls. 

Instead Mikey stands there, eyebrow raised. He’s leaning back against the bathroom counters, foot a tap tap tapping away and looking quite pleased with himself. 

“Who was that?” 

“Fuck _Mikey_ \- why the fuck were you listening?” 

Mikey shrugs, “more embarrassing this way.” 

“For who?” Frank hisses, “you or me?” 

“I’m not embarrassed,” Mikey says because of course he isn’t. The impervious Michael James Way could never ever be embarrassed. Regardless of whether he’s listening to his best friend jerk off in a fucking bathroom stall.  

“How about uncomfortable? Because I am.” 

“Maybe you shouldn’t have phone sex in the school bathroom then,” Mikey replies in perfect deadpan. The ‘duh’ is implied heavily at the end of the sentence and Frank rolls his eyes. If Mikey had someone like  _ Gerard  _ sending him nudes in school, he wouldn’t be so quick to…  Wait no… that’s wrong as shit. If Mikey had someone  _ really really hot _ … yeah. 

“It’s not- I...” Frank stutters, trying to build up some kind of defense. 

“Who was it?” Mikey interrupts. His eyes are locked in the general vicinity of Frank’s crotch which is… yeah, weird… but Frank thinks he’s looking at Frank’s pockets and trying to judge if his phone is in there. Which it is. 

“No one.”

Mikey advances on him, tall and - well not intimidating, it is Mikey after all, but he’s right in Frank’s space, hissing something like, “why are you being so fucking secretive then Iero,” through clenched teeth. He’s boney and Frank tries to bat his long arms away from his pockets, while muttering “fuck off fuck off,” back like a mantra. 

Mikey presses him against the stall wall, pins one of his arms with a sharp shoulder, the other one trapped behind him. Mikey’s hand slips into Frank’s pocket, fingers curling around his phone and Frank’s about to headbutt him or  _ something _ when he’s pulled away. 

A teacher, Frank thinks possibly the homophobic history teacher, is gripping Mikey’s arm harshly and dragging him to the other side of the bathroom. 

“You two,” he spits, “are coming with me  _ right now! _ ” 

Frank nods dumbly and wets his lips as the history teacher stares him down. The moment his tongue is safely back in his mouth however, Mikey -  _ Mikey -  _ fucking whimpers. Frank’s eyes dart to his friend, noting his eyes are clenched shut and his body is cringing around his arm, still firmly in the grasp of the teacher. 

“Let him the fuck go,” Frank demands, running over to pull Mikey free. The teacher lets go, sneering. 

“Fags,” he curses, shaking his head and gesturing them out of the bathroom. 

They’re going to the principal’s office, that much is clear. Frank’s not sure what the dumbass history teacher will tell her; the truth - Mikey and Frank were fighting (sort of), or whatever stupid idea he had in his mind - Frank and Mikey sitting in a tree, K - I - S - S - I - N - G.  

They’re told to wait outside and they do, slumping down in the benches. Mikey’s cradling his arm to his chest, bruises already flowering over his skin. 

“What a fucking dick,” Frank mutters and thinks he sees Mikey smile. 

 

The principal does not look happy when she calls them in. The history teacher is still in the room, lurking behind them as they sit down. He’s pacing back and forth like an agitated bull, snorting erratically. 

“I’ve been told you two were being inappropriate in the bathroom,” she starts. 

Frank snorts at that, rolling his eyes. 

“Something you’d like to add Frank?” 

“We could’ve been having a piss at the urinals and  _ he  _ would’ve said it was ‘inappropriate’” Frank mutters, and then a bit louder, “homophobic dick.” 

He hears another louder snort from behind him, angry. He also hears a small amused one from beside him. 

The principal sighs. “We’re going to need your parents to come in,” she says, “we’ve reached your mother Frank, but Michael your home phone was not answered.” 

“My parents are out of town.” 

“Is there someone who can come in for you?” 

Mikey shrugs and hunkers down in his seat, looking upset, “My brother can.” His eyes flick to Frank. 

Frank stares at the principal for a second, before realising he’s not meant to know about Gerard. He turns to Mikey, keeping his face shocked, “you have a brother!?” 

Mikey ignores him. “He’s at home, he just hates answering the phone. I can call him to come in.”

While Mikey’s outside making his call to Gerard, Frank tries to remain defiant under the weight of two gazes - one seriously angry and the other seriously dissatisfied with her job. 

“We weren’t doing anything,” Frank mutters and the principal shakes her head.  

“We’ll talk about it when your mother gets here.” 

 

Gerard arrives first, obviously unsure how he got himself into a position of responsibility. His hair is less of a mess than usual, but still shockingly red, and he’s wearing a suit, fiddling with the cuffs. It’s obviously uncomfortable for him, but he’s pulling it off remarkably well. Frank blinks at him and tries not to make it too obvious that Gerard is giving him heart palpitations. 

Him and Mikey come into the office and the principal narrows her eyes at him.  

“Mr Way?” she asks. 

“Gerard,” he corrects. 

“And you’re how old?” 

“Twenty-one.” 

Frank blinks at that too. It never occurred to him to ask Gerard how old he was. 

Gerard stays standing as Mikey sits back down beside Frank. Then, horribly, Frank’s mum arrives. Linda Iero does not look happy. She looks like she’s going to make Frank clean out the oven when they get back home and then cook him in it. 

She looks over the room and comes to stand behind Frank, like Gerard is with Mikey. 

“What’s the issue?” 

“Well,” the principal begins, “Mr Hanley found Frank and Michael...” - Frank sees Gerard mouth Mikey automatically - “well, making out in the school bathroom.” 

Frank’s mum nods, as if to say ‘that’s it?’ but Gerard - oh shit Gerard - stills, shocked eyes flicking from Mikey to Frank and back. He looks confused and hurt. 

“We were not,” Mikey argues. 

“Care to explain then why Frank’s pants were - and still are by the way you should fix that - undone.” 

“It’s a bathroom,” Frank shrugs, fumbling his fly back up. 

“His hand was in your pants,” Mr Hanley explodes from the back. Frank’s surprised he's lasted this long without saying anything. 

“In my pocket,” Frank counters. 

There’s a brief silence. “Even so,” the principal says, “why was his hand in your pocket.” 

“I was trying to take his phone,” Mikey cuts in. 

“Why?” 

“Uh-” and now Mikey pauses, glancing over at Frank. He can’t exactly say ‘to find out who Frank was having phone sex with’. That would be far worse and Frank would be in such shit. The principal would possibly expel him. His mum would kill him. And Gerard would blush red as a tomato and give them both away. Finally Mikey just shuts his mouth, crosses his arms and leans back in his seat, scowling. 

The principal sighs again, “look boys. I have no problem with you two dating or whatever it is you’re doing, but you can’t do  _ that  _ here. This is a school.” 

Mikey sinks lower in his seat, not even trying to counter the assumptions being thrown around about them. 

Frank however catches the look in Gerard’s eyes, the hurt and disappointment and fucking betrayal, “we’re not though. We weren’t.” 

“You both have three days suspension,” the principal continues like he hadn’t said anything at all. “And I never want to hear about this happening again, is that clear?” 

“Yes,” Frank and Mikey echo. Frank’s mum is holding his shoulder, but gently. She isn’t angry anymore, she thinks it’s just as much bullshit as he does. 

 

They all leave the office, Mr Hanley pulling Gerard aside to ‘have some words with him’ and Frank watches until it occurs to him that Mikey is watching him watching them. 

“That’s your brother?” Frank asks and Mikey nods. 

“He’s gonna be pissed.” 

“Why?” 

“He’s all about respect and shit. There’s gonna be a talk about responsible places to have sex, I just know it.” 

Frank nods. He isn’t so sure there will be. 

 

Mikey and Gerard leave together, Gerard frowning at nothing in particular and refusing to meet Frank’s eyes as they pass each other. Frank feels the loss like a hole in his gut and his mum places her hand on his shoulder to lead him out. 

“He won't be mad for long,” she says when they get into the car. Frank looks at her. 

“What - you knew?” 

“I had no idea,” she answers, “you and Mikey seemed like friends, but if you love him-” 

“Mum no, it’s not like that. Me and Mikey  _ aren’t _ dating or… doing things in the school bathroom. Really it was all a misunderstanding.” 

She nods and then her brow furrows again, “what is it that I don’t know then?” 

“What?”

“You thought I knew something, but-” 

“Oh. It’s nothing. It’s- well it’s Mikey’s brother, Gerard. I sort of met him two weeks ago and we had a date and now he probably thinks me and Mikey are hooking up and I’ve been like playing him - which I haven’t and I would think he knows that except he’s totally the sort of person to overthink things.” 

 His mum blinks at the road, “I caught almost none of that. You’re dating Mikey’s brother?” 

Frank shrinks a little, “sort of dating. I don’t know. We had a date.” 

“Just text him. Everything will be fine.”

 

Frank texts Gerard and gets no response. Everything is definitely not fine. 


	4. Chapter 4

‘Gerard, I know today was kind of awful but I swear to god, nothing was happening with me and Mikey.’

 

‘Hey so I called and you didn’t answer so I just wanted to say… I called, I guess.’

 

‘Fucking hell Gerard answer me.’

 

Everything he sends is met with conspicuous silence and the three day suspension passes like tar, slow and completely without Gerard.

Entering the school again elicits even more disgusted looks than usual. It seems the rumour of his and Mikey’s bathroom tryst spread rapidly, likely thanks to Mr Hanley. He’s the sort of person to have never left the horrid social confines of high school.

He sees Pete and Pete pretends not to see him.

“Hey,” he calls, jogging over, “you know the bathroom thing was all shit right?”

Pete shrugs, “Mikey said. It’s not like I care though.”

He looks haunted. Likely by the knowledge that he is totally gay for Mikey and that he hadn’t realised until it was almost too late, until Mikey was caught doing _something_ in the school bathroom with a dude.  

“Are you going to tell him?” Frank asks instead of arguing about whether or not Pete cares.

Pete glares at him. “There’s nothing to tell.”

“Oh?”

“Oh fuck off Frank.”

Frank wants to press it, but instead he sees Mikey. He looks terrible. His hair hangs in his face in a very Gerard-like style and he looks a little like he's attempting to method act a depressed zombie. Frank and Pete both take this in, before Frank decides he should figure out who replaced the impervious Mikey Way with an imposter and Pete takes the distraction as a cue to escape.

“What happened to you?” Frank asks. He’s feeling pretty miserable himself, but he’s never seen Mikey look less than perfectly immune to the shit around him. Mikey hesitates, rubbing shaking fingers through his hair. The strands are pushed out of his eyes for a split second, but it’s long enough for Frank to see how red-rimmed they are. 

“Gerard,” Mikey mutters, “I think he hates me now.”

“What? No that can’t be-”

“He hasn’t said a single word to me since we left the school last Wednesday. He keeps glaring at me and writing songs about betrayal. I mean - what am I meant to take from that?”

Frank cringes. “Why would he-”

“I don’t fucking know!” Mikey explodes, “I have no fucking idea why he’s acting like this. I thought it might be the respect your school thing or _something_. But it’s like he’s taking it way too seriously. And the question needs to be asked here Frank, why the fuck does my brother suddenly care what I’m doing with who in the school bathrooms. I tell him me and Pete make out and he just-”

“You and Pete what?” Frank interjects, but Mikey just keeps talking.

“-shrugs and sketches some more, like I said we were having nachos for dinner or something. He’d probably be _more_ interested if I brought up nachos. But he’s just so fucking mad now. What the fuck did I do?”

Everyone in the hall is staring at them. Brendon, Patrick and Ray are staring at them. _Pete_ is staring at them wide-eyed, escape plan firmly abandoned. 

Frank feels like a piece of shit. Mikey’s never spoken this much ever, and never about something like this. This many words coming out of Mikey’s mouth usually means he’s talking about the quality of sound throughout the school or grains of wood, not something that actually matters.

“It’s my fault,” Frank tells him quietly, “he’s mad at me.”

Mikey scoffs. “He doesn’t even know you.”

“He does,” Frank insists, “we… we know each other.”

Mikey eyes him. “How?”

Frank pauses, Mikey is going to fucking kill him but-

“I met him when I was breaking into your house.”

“I fucking knew it. You are why my mum is losing her- why is Gerard pissed at you for making out with _me?”_

“Well, uh… it’s-”

“You’re fucking my brother,” Mikey deadpans.

“Are you pissed?”

Mikey shrugs. “Pretty relieved honestly.”

“What?”

“I thought he was pissed because he had weird incestuous feelings about me, okay. It just… I didn’t know how else to explain why he was acting so fucking weird.”

Frank blinks at that. It kind of explains why Mikey was freaking out so much - if he thought his brother was harbouring _feelings_ for him.

“Gerard has standards,” Frank says before he can even fucking think about what he’s saying. Mikey stares at him and Frank gapes back. Then, thankfully, Mikey starts laughing.

“Like you?” he gasps between laughs. It’s sort of insulting, but Frank’s just pleased Mikey doesn’t look so fucking depressed anymore. And then he recognises the dumb laugh as the same dumb laugh Gerard has and his stomach feels hollow again. Mikey must see his face drop into near depression and falters.

“He’s still mad at you,” he realises.

Frank nods. “I didn’t even _do_ anything, and he won't text me back.”

“My brother’s kind of dumb,” Mikey says, “I’ll talk to him.”

There’s a beat of silence, where Mikey watches him with concerned eyes and Frank smiles back with wet ones.

Then; “You were having phone sex with my _brother!”_

“Mikey…”

“That’s fucking sick man. Were you even gonna tell me?”

“About the phone sex?”

“No you walnut. About the dating?”

“Walnut?”

“Were you?”

“It was going to be a prank,” Frank admits. It sounds really stupid now that it’s out in the air and Gerard isn’t beside him telling him it’s a _great_ idea and laughing his stupidly handsome arse off.

“You two are so dumb.”

  


And that’s just the thing. They _are_ dumb. Or at least Gerard is. Because Mikey does talk to him and apparently Gerard is still a mopey little shit who _won't answer Frank’s texts!!_

‘Would you stop being such a twat,’ Frank sends, grumbling to himself as he ignores the math lesson happening at the front of the room.

It’s been a week, which is a week too long really. Frank half expects Gerard to be coming up with some romantic way to say, ‘sorry I assumed you slept with my brother’ but after four days he gives up on that hope.

Mikey keeps telling him he’ll come round but Frank doubts that a little bit more and more every day.   


Two days and five fucking unanswered messages later, Frank’s leaving the school. Mikey waves at him sadly as he goes, sadly because he’s managed to get trapped in a conversation with Mr Tethers again. Frank has no desire to get stuck in that too. He has no desire to spend anymore time at school either. He has to get home and cry into his blankets and then mope around, refusing dinner and refusing to deal with his problems like an actual functioning human being.

He steps into the carpark and stills. In the car in front of him sits Gerard. They stare at each other. 

‘Fuck it,’ Frank thinks and stalks over, throwing open the passenger seat door and climbing in. “What the fuck Gerard?”

“What?” Gerard manages, wide-eyed. He looks like a fucking mess, sack top back alongside ink stained jeans. There’s ink in his hair as well.

“I’ve been fucking texting you.”

“I lost my phone,” Gerard mutters, “and before that I didn’t want to talk to you.” He looks over, “I still don’t.”

And ouch, that fucking hurts. Jesus.

“Why not? I know Mikey told you nothing happened so why are you so mad? I didn’t do anything.”

Gerard glares at him, which hurts even more. He hadn’t been aware Gerard could glare. He hadn’t even glared when Frank had broken into his house and _fell_ on him.

“Don’t lie to me,” Gerard growls, “I know what happened with you and Mikey. He told me.”

“Then why are you being such a fucking dick!?”

“He also told me you asked him to lie for you.”

 _What?_ “What? What did Mikey tell you happened?” Frank asks desperately, because it sounds like Mikey lied to Gerard. It sounds _a lot_ like Mikey told Gerard some pretty fucked up untrue shit which is not at all something a best friend should do. It doesn't even sound like something Mikey would do... unless...

He looks up, back to the classroom where Mikey was trapped. He isn't in there anymore though. Frank knows because Mikey is leaning against the fence outside the school grinning. He throws a sassy little wave in Frank's direction.

Frank's been such a dumbass. It’s a fucking prank. He should never have trusted Mikey. He lied to Gerard about what happened, after he fucking knew how upset Frank was, and it was a fucking prank. This whole time, a fucking prank! 

Gerard remains oblivious to Frank’s realisation, blathering on about something, “and he said you said you just wanted a fling but he thought there was something deeper going on. I just can’t believe you would play me like that - I - I really liked you, you know?” Gerard looks so shattered. 

And Frank, well Frank wants to _kill_ Mikey and thinks it might actually be justified.

Somehow Gerard is still talking, "I mean, if you really are in love with Mikey I don't want to stop you or-"

“He pranked me,” Frank interrupts, "also, gross." 

“What?”

“Mikey was pranking me,” Frank tells him, “by telling you all of that. It’s total shit. I don't love him. We didn't have a fling. He has no idea what my dick looks like. He lied to you - fuck he lied to both of us. It was a prank.”

“ _What?_ Mikey wouldn’t do that.”

“He told you all of this Monday before last right? The same day I told him we were together - well dated - well went on a fucking da- you know what I mean, and that's why you were so mad. I didn’t lie to you Gerard. Me and Mikey didn’t do anything. He just wanted to fuck with me.”

“You wanted to fuck with him,” Gerard grumbles unhappily. His phone buzzes then, and when he checks it he grimaces and looks over at Frank.

“Is that Mikey?” Frank guesses.

“Yeah, he uh, says you’re telling the truth. And he’s sorry, but he had to.” Gerard looks a little startled and perplexed and fucking angry, all his emotions bubbling up until he starts laughing hysterically.

“I’m going to fucking kill him,” Gerard manages, “actually kill him. I can’t believe he put me through this shit.”

“He was getting us back,” Frank mumbles, “for the Nair thing.”

“He is so adopted,” Gerard says, “adopted and fucking _dead_.” With that he drags Frank over the gearstick and into his lap, muffling Frank’s surprise with his mouth. Frank’s a little surprised Gerard’s so quickly over their weeks of stupidness, but isn’t about to complain. If Gerard can switch gears from 'you cheated on me with my brother' to 'sit on me you delightful tiny man' in the space of two seconds, that's all fine in Frank's books. 

He settles onto Gerard’s thighs, burying his fingers in the vibrant red hair and tugging Gerard back in everytime he turns away for air.

“Wait,” Gerard starts panting over and over again, “wait, wait.”

Frank assumes he’s unhappy with their location, on school property, in a car, so he releases Gerard’s pretty hair and leans back. Gerard stares at him for a long second, but stops Frank when he goes to climb back over the center console into the passenger seat. He plants firm hands over Frank’s hips and looks so pleased with them it makes Frank want to kiss him all over again.

“Mikey’s the one who stole my phone,” Gerard says, like a realisation, only slightly angrily. If Frank had to guess, he’d say it’s only ‘slightly angry’ because he’s still too happy about Frank having hips that he can touch with his actual hands. “I’ll kill him.”

Frank laughs and leans back in for a kiss.

  


* * *

 

 

 

The next day, Mikey walks into school with a black eye.

“What the hell?” Frank asks instead of punching Mikey in that same eye like he’d been planning to. He hadn’t thought Gerard actually would punch his brother but…

“Pete,” Mikey shrugs, which _what?_

“What? I thought Gerard-”

“Gerard’s a pacifist,” Mikey interrupts.

“Pete though?”

“It was an accident. I was taking off my shirt and-”

“No,” Frank interrupts, “stop talking. No no no.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope this chapter was cool. Hope this story was fun. Comment if you would like morrrre and i'll see what i can do :) otherwise, finished bruhs.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope people liked. Do that kudos, comment thing if you will and if you want to obsess about MCR with anyone, I exist on tumblr and that is what my life has become. 
> 
> This is short, it's sweet, it's because I can't handle big projects. But do Inform if you'd want more and i'll see what i can do.


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